Where is the passion when you need it the most?

SO, I've taken up running again. It's my rediscovered passion! It's my escape, my time to be with God, my time to worship him for all that he is, my time to pray, my time to reflect and meditate on life, my time to take in all of creation, and my time to achieve one of the goals that I've set for my life.

Todays mileage = 4.5 km

Goal for next week = 5 km

Goal for July = 10 km race

Goal for October = the Toronto Marathon (only half marathon for me)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

I LOVE!!!!

OK, so today I came across a list of things(not people..just things...i love people too but this is not that list..lol) that I love that I wrote down about 6 months ago I guess....

So I thought I'd share:

1. Laughing
2. Flannel sheets
3. Peanut butter
4. Chocolate Cake
5. Cold milk
6. Autumn
7. Roller coasters
8. The colour blue
9. Swimming
10. Chick flicks
11. Cheesy pop music
12. Hoodies
13. Talking on the phone
14. Running
15. Camp
16. Going to the movies
17. Skating
18. Getting my hair cut
19. Gummy bears
20. Fishing
21. Shopping
22. Getting dressed up
23. Walking barefoot in the sand
24. Kissing in the rain
25. Reading
26. Acting
27. Roast chicken
28. Playing board games/cards
29.Toboggoning
30. Elephants
31. Cheddar cheese on cinnamon raisin toast
32. Crayons
33. Love songs
34. The smell of coconut
35. Pineapple
36. Pina coladas
37. Jeans
38. Kids
39. Shoes
40. Bubble Gum


Obviously that's not everything that I LOVE...but it's a taste...

My beef with chick flicks!

Ok...so...

After going to see the movie "Failure to Launch" the other night, I've decided...that...I can't believe I'm going to say this but...I hate chick flicks! GASP! I know...it's shocking! Say what now?

I think the reason I hate them so much us because I get so wrapped up in them. As I'm watching them, it sounds crazy, but I become the female character. Throughout the whole movie I experience the happy and..the sad moments that she faces. And at the end...when all is dandy and they fall in love...and everyone is happy...the movie ends...and it's over...and the good feeling is gone. And I find myself saying...aww why doesn't that happen to me, or why doesn't a guy say that or do that for me...blah blah blah. I ask myself, why guys aren't really like that, or why haven't I met a guy like that?

Well the answer is....It's not real! GASP AGAIN! It's a fantasy world...an unrealistic one. Maybe for some...their romantic experiences come close to maybe what would be in a movie...but typically not. (I'm not synnical..lol)

I engulf (not sure if that's even a word) myself into these stories, and create in my mind what my idea of the perfect man would be and I have these expectations and if a guy doesn't fill them...then..nope...not for me. Wow...I sound crazy...ha ha. But seriosuly though...as much as I love watching them...and how good i feel watching two people fall in love...I don't know that they're necessarily good for me. It may just be me..i don't know.

I don't know if i'll ever be able to give up my beloved chick flicks...

But there is today's ramble.

Chick flicks...yay? or nay?

Ok ladies...or gentlemen...ahem...

I have a question for all you chick flick movie buffs such as myself.....

Do chick flicks distort and candy coat relationships and love? Do they give us false hope and too high expectations? Are they healthy for us single gals or guys out there to be wrapping ourselves up in a pretend world?

thoughts?

then maybe i'll share my opinion....

A little reminder...

Today I decided to read over some of my past blogs and I came upon one which was a really great reminder of where my mind was over a year ago to now....and just how sometimes you have to keep learning the same lessons over and over again before they really sink in. This particular one was on "Singleness"- give is a readsky!

"For the past two weeks I've been working on a 10 page paper for my Christian Life and Discipleship class, and just writing it has really challenged me. Originally my topic was going to be on the spritual discipline of worship. But as I thought about it, yes I've experienced different forms of worship but I didn't really know how to express how I felt about it in 10 pages. So...I decided to go with a topic that tugs a little harder on my heart strings....."Singleness"...well not just singleness....."Singleness and the Christian Woman's Life". I started reasearching for it, and then I realized.."Hey, I'm a single Christian Woman, I can have an opinion about this!" I couldn't believe how much I got into writing this, I mean don't get me wrong I like school, but normally I'm not excited about writing a paper. OK, I'll get to my point. Basically what I learned from doing this assignment, (well I knew it before but it never REALLY sunk in) is that right now, my single life stage, is so crucial. Like, right now is my time to grow spiritually, get intimate with God, and really experience him. For the longest time I've depended on other people for my happiness, well mostly guys, but also my friends and family. But I've been challenged to REALLY trust God with this area of my life. Oh ya, it's way harder said than done, and believe me I've said it a few times! But I believe that it's something we should surrender to God everyday! Like any other single woman, I have the desire in my heart to fall in love, to get married, and have a family....all that jazz. (God does promise us that if we delight our selves in him he will give us the desires of our hearts.) But ultimately those things can not satisfy me unless I'm in love with my heavenly father, my creator. Is this an easy thing? I believe that loving him can be easy, but putting all your trust in him and handing him the pen of your life...that's hard! It's because we're in a fight...the devil is always trying to turn us a way from God, and us getting frustrated with God over our singleness and pushing him out of the way because we want to be in charge, that's just giving satan what he wants. I challenge you, if you're single, to take advantage of this time, and fall in love with your "groom" Jesus. If you are in a relationship...take a look at it and see who you have as 1st priority? And just put all your trust in him!!!"

"Find rest, my soul, in CHRIST ALONE, know his power, IN QUIETNESS AND TRUST!When the Oceans Rise and Thunders Roar, I will soar with You above the storm,Father you are king over the flood..I will BE STILL AND KNOW YOU ARE GOD!"

Thanks Laura....needed to hear that

Could I?

Could I just stay here a while, and know that there’s nothing that I need to say, safe in the knowledge that in all my ways, you love me, completely, no need to hide a thing.

Could I just stay here a while, letting you melt away all of my fears, I feel your comfort when you are so near, Ill hide myself in the shelter you made for me.

Could I? Could I?

Could I just kneel here a while, doing what I was created to do, bowing in reverence, unto to adore you, kneeling and giving all that I can surrender

Could I just rest here a while, letting you whisper my burdens away, in all of my journey’s there is no other place where I find refuge and strength for my weary heart.

Could I? Could I? Could I? Could I?

Could I just let you, wipe my burdens away? Could I let you whisper my tears away? Could I just let you-wipe my burdens away?

Could I?

Could I just stay here a while, and know that’s there’s nothing that I need to say, safe in the knowledge that in all my ways, you LOVE ME COMPLETELY, No need to hide a thing.

It's been a rough week. I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and I'm still kindof hanging on. I'm not really sure which way it's going or when it'll finally come to a stop. I'm praying hardcore, but not really hearing God...

any suggestions?

Bittersweet Symphony

Above is the title of the chapter of my life that I'm living at this moment. It is most definately bittersweet! I am abosultely extatic and excited and at the same time worried and terrified. I feel uneasy about many areas of my life, what my future holds and what the heck I'm going to do with my life after I graduate. So many unknowns. How to deal? Well...I'm trying my hardest to leave it at the feet of Jesus!

Esta-Esta!

Above is a picture of Esther and I from My 2nd summer at camp and our 1st summer as roomies...this is where the tradition of us living together in the summer began! After talking to her lasnight on the phone with her all the way in Austraila, I realized that how much God has blessed me with having her in my life.

Esther, you have no idea how much you mean to me, or how much I thank God for your friendship. Thank you for always being there for me, through the tears and the laughter. I am so proud of you for what you're doing, although I miss you to pieces!


Love you lots, and praying for you always!

Why is patience soooooo hard?

I'm frustrated! I'm fed up! I'm down right impatient!

God has put me to the "patience test"...can I do it? Gah..I hope so!

a little something different!

Well....as it seems i've changed the look of my blog a little bit. Just felt like a change...and well i'm learning how to not be so technically challenged....lol.

so...that's all for now folks...enjoy the new asthetics!


~jess~

Something I've really been struggling with lately is "how do I know what God's plan is for my life?" I know that it's not necessarily something that we're supposed to know, but how do we know if we're on the right track? I have this bad habit of telling God he can have complete control of my life, and then slowly but surely I always take it back. I want to know that what I'm doing with my life is good and pleasing to God, and that I'm not disapointing him. I mean, we're all human and we all make mistakes but I want to know that I'm making my Father proud with how I'm living.

Right now I'm finding school very difficult. I go through stages where I'm very motivated and want to do well, and then all of a sudden I don't care and I'm slacking off. Well right now I'm in one of those slacking off phases. It's so frustrating because at the beggining of the semester I set some goals for myself, and I'm not on the right path to achieving those goals. I know what I need to change, I just need to find the strength to do it.

God has brought me through one of the toughest times of my life this past year, and I can feel him continuing to work. It's jsut that patience is not a virtue that I posess so It's really hard. I'm the type of person who always wants to know what is going to happen next, and right now I have absolutely no idea, and it's sooo scary.

I know I'm not a alone. I know that everybody goes through times like this, and God always pulls through. He's really teaching me trust and patience right now and I will be a stronger person because of it.

If you've read my blog in the last little while, you probably read my post about Africa. Well...after a lot of time spent in prayer, I've come to the conclusion that right now is not the right time for me to go. It doesn't mean that I never will, it just really doesn't feel right, nor was it coming together the way I expected it to. I really feel like God wanted to know that I was willing, but he has something else in store for me this summer. Only he knows what that is. I'm looking at doing some school over the spring to catch up on some classes so that I can graduate next May for sure, then after that....well...we'll see.

As much as things feel all over the place, my life is following a path...it may be a bumpy road but I praise God for that, becuase it's that bumpy road that's going to lead me to the final destination!