2 things....

Today was a real eye opening day for me. First thing, lately I've really been struggling with what it is I want to do with my life, what I want to study at school, what I want to do as a career etc...
But today, I was having tea with someone, just chatting and this topic came up, and i mentioned how there are several things that I'm trying to decide about, and she said something that jsut hit me, and everything clicked, she said "why can't you do it all? you don't have to stick to one thing you're whole life, if you have dreams, why not go for it and do them all?" After hearing that I felt as If the huge bricks that have been on my shoulders for so long just became so much lighter. Why not do it all? Why not go to school and get a degree in religious education, why not do some work in full time ministry, why not get my ECE and work with kids for a while, why not do some missions work and travel around the world? ALL things are possible through CHRIST!

Dreams can't come true if you don't have any!

Ok, second thing! Tonight my human development class was on DID (disociative identity disorder). Wow, was it ever powerful. DID is basically the new name for multiple personality syndrome. Anyways, this topic really struck me hard. We had a guest speaker who works in DID ministry. DID is commonly associated with strong demonic overtones and it is caused by a traumatic event in childhood such as abuse where the child creates an alternate identity to deal with the pain and suffering caused by the trauma. Satan uses these situations to his advantage and can really tear a person apart and really break them. What DID ministry is, is dealing with people who have the disorder and taking the identities back to the situation in their past and showing them the love of Jesus and getting those evil overtones to leave them. I don't knwo why this tugged on my heart stings so much but it has made me want to do further research into and see if this is somehting that i would like to pursue or if this is a ministry that i would liek to be a part of. If anyone has any interest in this or knwos anything about it, leave a commetn, I'd love to talk about it with you.

Alright I think that's it for today

Blessings,

the heart of worship

I think in the last week I've written mabye 5 blogs and just haven't posted them. I find that as soon as I write something immediately it becomes irrelevant or uninteresting or whatever. Sitting here right now my mind is a volcano getting ready to errupt. So many things that I am constantly thinking about, my mind never sleeps. I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately and I guess the fact that so many people have such profound things to say is a little intimidating. But, I've realized that it's ok not to be like everyone else and that I shouldn't compare my faith or what others are doing for God because what matters is what's going on between ME and God. The only thing is lately, there hasn't been a whole lot goign on between me and God. Well that's not entirely true...things just haven't been the way I'm used to them being. Ever since the girls night where we did worship in teh form of art, I've developed a love for drawing and worshiping and praying through my sketches. I jsut put on some music, and my thoughts jsut pour onto the paper. The drawings are no way fit for an art gallery but they definately come from my heart. I guess in a way I'm learning to experience God on a new level.

Far Beyond

I hear it in a love song or see it on a movie screen
the kind of perfect love story that I have always dreamed
would somehow come into my life
and yet it seems so out of reach
it's all that I think about sometimes
will I ever find a love that's meant to be
maybe these thoughts seem foolish
to a holy God who made the sea and land
but You were the One that created
love between a woman and a man
and deep inside I hear you say
you see all my hopes and fears
and if i give You the pen of my life
you'll write a tale that all heaven can cheer

far beyond my deepest heart's desire
far beyond what I could ever dream
far beyond my fairy tale imagination
is Your perfect plan for me
there's no limit to romance in all it's beauty
when the author of love shapes my destiny
far beyond the most that I could long for
I will find the dreams You have dreamed for me

I could search forever
I could look for true love everywhere
if all my dreams were answered
they still could not compare
to the beauty of Your ways
and all the plans for my life
cause you've been scripting out a story for me
before the very foundation of time

untitled...Feb.20,2005

Tonight my heart aches
Memories flood my mind
Like a house empty with darkness
My heart longs for light, for life.

It's weakness is vulnerable
The beat is muffled and irregular
Like a fish,
Gasping for one last breath of air.

Time stands still
My heart,
Seemingly irepairable,
Finds a measure of hope.

You, with a heart so alive
Dancing to the rythmn of love
With it's melody,
It sings life into mine.

Since you've been gone

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
Now I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Our of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I jsut can't take it
Again and again and again and again

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

The Kingdom of God

What is the Kingdom of God?
Is it The personal presencen of Jesus?
A lot of people think that the Kingdom of God is something that we're waiting for, but in actual fact the Kingdom of God is already here!

Jesus says in Mark 1:15:
"The time has come," he said. "The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!"

Jesus says in Luke 4:18-21:
"The spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor[the year the messiah comes]."

Is the Kingdom of God A Rule/Religion?

It can be seen as "God's way of doing things"

Luke 17:20-21:
"The Kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'here it is,' or 'there it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."

Colossians 1:13:
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the son he loves."

Is the Kindgom of God a Realm/Territory?

Matthew 25:34:
"Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world."

2 Peter 1:11:
"and you will recieve a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

When is the Kingdom of God?

Jesus talks in Luke 17:20-21 about the kingdom as of the present, now, and already. And in Luke 13:28-29 he talks about the kingdom as of the future and the not yet.

Paul also addresses the present in Romans 14:17 and the future in 1 Corinthians 15:24-25.

Where is the kingdom of God?

Here is it visible and there is it invisible?

The kindom of God does exist in this age..but also in the age to come. The life of the age to come is exploding in THIS age!

The holy spirit is the "down payment" of the age to come!

Ok..I know that was alot, and my not have made a whole lot of sense right now...but I challenge you to think about it, dig into God's word and see for yourself!

One last thought....when you have eternal life..you ahve the life of the future!
In this age we are called to be disciples!
Acts 1:8 "You shall be my witnesses..."


Blessings,

Majesty

Here I am
Humbled by Your Majesty,
Covered by Your grace so free.
Here I am,
Knowing I'm a sinful man[woman]
covered by the blood of the lamb.
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
since you laid down Your life,
the greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love,
in the presence of your Majesty.

Here I stand humbled by the love that you give
forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand knowing that I'm your desire
sanctified by glory and fire

And now I've found
the greatest love of all is mine
since you laid down your life
the greatest sacrifice.

The Salvation Army....

I've been reading a lot of other peoples blogs lately, and I've found that a common topic is The Salvation Army. I've never written anything about it, because I don't want to pretend that I'm all passionate about it, when I'm not. I've grown up in a Salvation Army church my whole life, my parents are officers, everything I've known was eat, sleep, breathe Salvation Army. I think it's absolutely wonderful that there are a lot of young people out there who are passionate about the army and want to see renewal and revival. (ok, I'm not saying that I don't want that) The thing with me is that, ok yes I grew up with it, but that doesn't mean that I know all about it. I think a lot of Army young people need to be aware of what exactly it is they believe, like the Army Doctrines. I bet if you asked a handful of young salvationists why they don't take communion or haven't been baptized they wouldn't know what to say. To be honest, not long ago I was one of those people. But that just goes to show that maybe, we, as young salvationists need to educate ourselves before we get passionate about something that we don't really know much about. That's not hard to do, sit down have a chat with your DYS or CO or someone who know's alot about the subject and just ask questions. Yeah there's junior soldiers, and corps cadets, but I don't remember a thing that I learned from corps cadets. And that was part of the reason why I didn't continue on and become a a senior soldier...to me the senior soldier covenant was just a bunch of rules on a piece of paper that the church wanted to to sign. But it is much more than that. I still haven't made the decision to become one...but maybe once I learn more about just how much it does mean, well then maybe it will be something for me. I don't know if this is making any sense. I'm not saying that all young salvationist don't know what they believe, what I'm saying is that there are some who don't. So for the people who do, encourage others to learn more, and then maybe they'll find that passion for renewal and revival. OK..i think thats it for my thoughts.


In Christ,

Jess