Thank you God!

I found out some very exciting news today when I went to pick up my student loan....apparently the govermnet thinks I'm special enough to give me $4000 dollars on my student loan that I won't ever have to pay back...yay for free money....love it! Thank you so much God for this amazing blessing!

On a lesser exciting note...went to the doc yesterday...and my condition is not improving, if anything it's getting worse and I'm feeling worse. I could really use every ounce of prayer right now, for my health, for my emotions, for my overall well being and sanity. If you've ever been really sick you know just how much of a toll it pays on your mind, body and soul. I've started yet another kind of medication, but if this doesn't work within a week then unfortunately it's going to mean admittance into the hospital for more treatment. But let's really pray that that option won't be necessary. I believe in our God the great healer and I have faith that he's taking care of me. Trying to say positive....

All for you

Nothing compares to
Life I have in You
Nothing of this world satisfies
So, I want to let go
I want to let You know
All that I have to give is Yours
Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place Lord, I have come ready for
Your touch
It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
What is it in me
That hangs on for so long
Why do I fight the tears that come?
I work so hard to
Keep in control when
All that I want is to let go
I'll take this life
And lay it down
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
My hopes and dreams
Here at Your feet
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
And I am ready for
Your life
And I am ready for You now

Stars

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself the
outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain
I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars I see someone else
When I look at the stars I feel like myself
Stars looking at a planet watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives
could pass as sane
I've been thinking about the meaning of resistance of a hope beyond
my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent begin to look like home
I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so lonely
Everyone, everyone, we feel so lonely
Everyone, everyone, we feel so empty
When I look at the stars I feel like myself
When I look at the stars I see someone

Prayer Request...

Hey everyone, I just have a little prayer request....my health is not the greatest right now and I'm having some more tests done on Monday so if you could all just keep me in your prayers that would be totally awesome!

Love you all!


Jess

amazing reminder..

I'm taking a class monday nigths called Using Personal Narrative in Youth Ministry. Last night was the first class and it was so amazing. Basically what the class is, we're going to learn how to use our own personal testimony to minister to youth. I have no doubt that this class may be very emotionally draining as we dig up the dirt from our past and talk about it infront of the class (one of our assignments is to present our testimony to the class) and in small groups, and pull apart ways that we can use our eperiences to cousel youth and how to let God use us through our stories.

God really spoke to me lastnight through my professor, she went on a little tangent that turned into a 20 min sermon but it was exactly what I've been needing to hear for a while. She talked about how Bible college among other places...like camp...are Satan's playground...and how those are places where people are learning about God and where there are people so full of passion and fire for God that he tries everything possible to put junk in our way. But no matter what, God is on our side, and he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us, and that God is all powerful and can give us the strength to fight the enemy. We just need to say...satan...I'm done with you..try as you may to bring me down...but I have the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ living in me and I know his Truth.

It was just such a good reminder, one that I desperatley needed, and I'm so excited what God has instore for this class and how much it's going to affect my life!

New Beginnings

Well, school starts up again tomorrow...and I can't wait! Oddly enough I've missed it so much! I am so excited about this year and all that God has instore for my life, I know there are going to be some big changes, but I'm so ready for it! I'm just letting God take over and watch him write this exciting story that is the journey of my life.

I've made the decision to permanently attend Unionville Alliance Church and get involved there, this is a big step for me as I know absolutley noone besides my sister and brother in-law, but I trust that God is going to give me the strength to get myself out there and meet some new people and really feel at home. There's just something about the atmosphere there, I can always feel Gods presence and it's the place where I can clearly hear him speaking to me. So I'm very excited to take this leap of faith! I'm still an Army girl, always will be! The Missionary Alliance Church is probably the closest thing to the Army you can get. (doctrine wise that is, there are many differences otherwise)My Prayers are always with the Salvation Army and the amazing things God is using the youth in the Army for right now, and I have faith that it's only gonna get better!

I just ask for prayer right now as I go back to school, that I will be focused on the right things, and put my heart into everything I do.


Jess

Prayer

Lord, You have said in Your WOrd that whoever believes in You will have rivers of living water flowing from their heart (John 7:38). I believe in You, and I long for Your living water to flow in and through me today and every day that I'm alive. I invite Your Holy Spirit to fill me afresh right now. Just as a spring is constantly being renewed with fresh waster so that it stays pure, I ask You to renew me in that same way today.
Your Word says that "the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered" (Romans 8:26). Lord, I realize I don't know how to pray as I need to, nor as often as I want to, but I invite You, Holy Spirit, to pray through me. Help me in my weakness. Teach me the things I don't know about you.
I am desperately aware of how much I need Your power to transform me and my circumstances. I don't want to live an ineffective life. I wan to live in the dynamic power of Your Spirit. I don't want to be a spiritual underachiever. I want to be an overcomer. You paid a price for me so that I could be owned by You. Help me to live like it. You planned out a course for my life so that I could be defined by You. Help me to act like it. You made it possible for me to defeat my enemy. Help me not to forget it. You sent Your Holy Spirit so that I could live in power. Help me to fulfill that promise. You gave Your life for me because You loved me. Help me to do the same for You.
I put all my expectations in You, Lord. I repent of the times I have expected other people or other things to meet my needs when I should have been looking to You. I know that You are the only one who can complete me because You are everything I need. All that I have ever wanted in my life can be found in You. Help me to remember to live not in my own strength, but by the power of Your Spirit living in me. Forgive me for the times I have forgotten to do that. Enable me to grow in the things of Your Kingdom so that I can become a whole, properly functioning, contributing, productive child of Yours who moves forward in Your purpose for my life.

Amen.

Better than life

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friends voices
Better than the biggest dreams of my heart
and that's just the start

Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I want to
Better than the love that anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now in your arms
and never let me go
you oh Lord make the sun shine
and the moon light in the night sky
you give me breath
and all your love
I give my heart to you because I can't stop falling in love with you
I'll never stop falling in love with you
I can't stop falling in love with you.
I'll never stop falling in love with you.