Something I've really been struggling with lately is "how do I know what God's plan is for my life?" I know that it's not necessarily something that we're supposed to know, but how do we know if we're on the right track? I have this bad habit of telling God he can have complete control of my life, and then slowly but surely I always take it back. I want to know that what I'm doing with my life is good and pleasing to God, and that I'm not disapointing him. I mean, we're all human and we all make mistakes but I want to know that I'm making my Father proud with how I'm living.

Right now I'm finding school very difficult. I go through stages where I'm very motivated and want to do well, and then all of a sudden I don't care and I'm slacking off. Well right now I'm in one of those slacking off phases. It's so frustrating because at the beggining of the semester I set some goals for myself, and I'm not on the right path to achieving those goals. I know what I need to change, I just need to find the strength to do it.

God has brought me through one of the toughest times of my life this past year, and I can feel him continuing to work. It's jsut that patience is not a virtue that I posess so It's really hard. I'm the type of person who always wants to know what is going to happen next, and right now I have absolutely no idea, and it's sooo scary.

I know I'm not a alone. I know that everybody goes through times like this, and God always pulls through. He's really teaching me trust and patience right now and I will be a stronger person because of it.

If you've read my blog in the last little while, you probably read my post about Africa. Well...after a lot of time spent in prayer, I've come to the conclusion that right now is not the right time for me to go. It doesn't mean that I never will, it just really doesn't feel right, nor was it coming together the way I expected it to. I really feel like God wanted to know that I was willing, but he has something else in store for me this summer. Only he knows what that is. I'm looking at doing some school over the spring to catch up on some classes so that I can graduate next May for sure, then after that....well...we'll see.

As much as things feel all over the place, my life is following a path...it may be a bumpy road but I praise God for that, becuase it's that bumpy road that's going to lead me to the final destination!