and so the summer begins.....

Well I've been at camp no amost 2 months...minus the 2 weeks I was in Newfoundland...so really not 2 months but whatever, that's besides the point. Today is the 1st day of summer, so let the stress begin! I'm working as the day camp co-ordinator again this summer, and to be completely honest I don't know whether that is where my heart is. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love the kids, but something feels like it's missing. I prayed so hard before I came up to camp asking God to show me whether camp was the place for me, and I felt as if he was telling me it was...but now I'm feeling like it's not. I don't really know how to explain it. Camp is usually the place where I feel God's presence the strongest, and well it's like the exact opposite right now. I feel lost in a sea of darkness all on my own. I'm constanly disapointed with him, and having faith right now is hard cause it seems like all of my prayers are going unheard. I know they're not, I know God is there...i'm just having a lot of trouble feeling it these days. I feel anxious, I'm stressed, I'm worried...so many things are just putting up a walls around me.